The new begining

Its been a while, since i started high school i never post something in this blog again. Most people these days said blog is old fashion, but for me its like a diary, a place where i can write my thoughts. So here it goes. Its 2014 now, i finished high school, in august im gonna go to colage. The idea of going to colage scares me, like a lot. Back then i used to say i wanna start colage soon because i hate high school, the truth is, i kinda like my high school its pretty cool, my relationship with my high school is kinda love and hate. So heres the thing, why am i scared? Im gonna start a new life, the university is placed in the other side of this country that i have never visited, i dont have a fimly there, i have nothing. It scares me. Living alone in the place where i know nonody, the place wheree you have to be pretty an popular. The thing is im afraid im not gonna fit in. I never thought im gonna go to colage there, i always expected im gonna go to colage here, in my home, Makassar. At first when i know i got accepted i was happy, like this is it, i finally do something for my parents and my life but later this question came along "is this what i want?" the answer is, i dont know. Im not ready to start this whole thing. Time flies so fast, i wish i cherised the moment i have in here. So everynight i cant sleep i try to memorize my parents home, evry inch of it and then it hit me, every moments of my life here. Im gonna miss it. Even the smell of cat piss and trash in the morning near my home. Im gonna miss my friends, my books, my cd's, my old type writer, my guitar and ukulele kimberly and ukel. Im gonna miss everything. This afternoon i saw one of my high school friend post something in her social media account, shes leaving this city too, she wrote, she'll miss her room and everything about it. Her post is the same feeling i haveright now. I start to cry a little bit inside. I cant cry out loud, i wish i can stop time and live in the present i dint want to go to the future, i dont want to live in the future, but i cant because life keep on going, so i have to face it. Im leaving in the end of july, i still have time and this time im gonna cherish every moments i have even the bad ones. Im gonna miss every inch of this city that very dear to me.